The Trouble With Toodles
by thisisamasterpiece
Summary: When Princess Peach's pie gets stolen, she decides to hire a housekeeper named Toodles.


The Trouble with Toodles

One fine day in the Mushroom Kingdom, Princess Peach and

Mario were shopping at Toad-Mart.

Princess Peach: "Well I think that it's time to go to the Cashier right now."

(Mario looks at the overflowing cart)

Mario: " Princess, we don't-a-have any manufactured crap in this cart yet."

(Princess Peach's left eye twitches a little)

Princess Peach: "Why would we need that horrible processed stuff, Mario?"

Mario: "It's a good thing."

Princess Peach: "Horrible processed stuff is never the answer, Mario. Why, if it was up to me-"

Princess Peach was interrupted by a Toad with a green polka dotted hat and mad scientist classes.

Green Toad: "Step right up and buy the famous, rare Cheese Moon Pie! Only 10 coins per pie! Hurry up before the cheese gets moldy!"

Princess Peach: "OMG MOON PIE!"

Peach pushed Mario to the ground and bought a Cheese Moon Pie.

Princess Peach held the Moon Pie up like a Star in Mario Party and said "I GOT IT!"

Mario: "You-you didn't do anything. Well I suppose this will do a Manufactured-"

Princess Peach: "IT'S NOT MANUFACTURED CRAP! IT'S A MASTERPIECE!"

Mario: "Okay, okay."

So Mario and Peach went back to the Castle and Princess Peach shoved the Cheese filled Moon Pie in the stove.

Princess Peach: "Well, the precious Moon Pie should be done in a jiffy."

2 hours later

Mario came in and noticed the kitchen was completely filled with smoke.

Mario: "HMMMM...Smells like smoke in here!"

Princess Peach: "OMG THE PIE IS READY!"

Princess Peach noticed the pie was on fire, Mario noticed as well and took action by finding a Janitor's mop and lit it on fire.

Mario: "OHHHHHHH MY GAWWWWWWWD!"

Princess Peach got a bucket of water and dumped it on the mop, the pie, Mario and even herself.

Princess Peach: "Now, let's cool off this pie by the window."

Peach put the pitch black pie by the window and walked out of the kitchen.

Mario "...It still smells like smoke in here."

Meanwhile, Wario was walking near the Castle.

Wario: "I haven't eaten in 10 minutes. I'm starving."

Wario saw the smoky moon pie and ate it in one bite.

Wario: "Not the best in the world, but I guess it will have to do, anyways."

Wario walked away from Princess Peach's castle.

Princess Peach noticed the Moon Pie was gone and smoke snared from her nose.

Princess Peach: "Mario, can you come into the kitchen for a moment."

Mario: "NO."

Princess Peach: "We can play a two-player game."

Mario: "OH BOY!"

Mario runs into the kitchen with A Nintendo 64 controller.

Mario: "Where is the Two-Player game?"

Princess Peach: "There is no Two-Player game."

Mario: "NOOOOOOOOO!"

Mario threw his controller at Peach and ran away.

Peach got her Princess Mobile and chased him around the castle until Mario stepped on a trap and was hung upside down.

Princess Peach put Mario in Time Out for a few hours and let him out.

Princess Peach: "Well, since everybody is here. I should tell you that my precious Moon Pie is gone and I am going to hire a trusted housekeeper to help protect my precious castle. Any questions?"

Mario: "Is this a two-player game?"

Peach:" No, no, no. Well since nobody has any questions, I shall let the housekeeper in this castle right now. "OH TOODLES!"

Toodles: "Hey, everybody!"

Mario: "Isn't your real name Tu-"

Princess Peach: "Since nobody cares, this meeting is over!"

8:00 P.M.

Mario went up to the kitchen to get some ice cream.

Toodles appeared.

Toodles: "Have you brushed your teeth yet?"

Mario: "No."

Toodles: "Well, you should."

Mario ignored him and took the ice cream out of the freezer and ate a few bites.

Toodles: "No, no, no. Since nobody cares, where's the lock to the freezer?"

Mario pointed to the davenport. Toodles took the key from the davenport and used it to lock the freezer. He put it in his secret drawer up in the guest room.

Mario: "Oh no..."

Toodles: "Everything goes off at 10:00. Got it?"

Mario ignored him again and went downstairs.

10:00 P.M.

Toodles opened the door to the room that Mario slept in sometimes in the basement.

Toodles: "Since nobody cares, where's the commute. Remote."

Mario: "Over here, guy, right in this cup holder."

Toodles: "Toss it over here!"

Mario tossed the remote over to Toodles.

Toodles turns off the TV and takes it up to his guest room upstairs.

Mario goes up to the TV while he's gone and turns it on the old fashioned way.

10 minutes later.

Toodles: "I thought I turned this TV off."

Mario: (whispering) "Shuuuuut uuuuup."

Toodles: "I don't think it's funny worth a darn."

Toodles goes toward the TV and Mario blocks him from turning it off. He eventually shoves Mario out of the way and turns it off.

Toodles: "Everything's off. For the night."

Toodles floats upstairs and Mario's face is red.

Mario: "Toodles, why are you so mean?"

"Toodles, why are you so stupid?"

Toodles: "I really don't want to fight now."

Mario: "TOODLES, I WISH YOU WERE DEAD."

Toodles: "Them's fightin' words, son."

Toodles came back and dragged Mario out of his bed, slammed him to do wall (Which left a huge dent in the wall), dragged him to his room, locked the door, and Mario was screaming for the whole night long.

The Next Day, Mario came out of his room with his hair messed up and bloodshot eyes.

Mario: "I hate that talking Dice Block."

A flashback from last night shows Toodles forcing Mario to Watch a Japanese Anime show that gave him seizures.

Mario: "I really need to get rid of him."

Jeopardy music plays for a few minutes while Mario thinks.

Mario: "Screw this, I don't care if I'm going down without a fight."

Shows random scenes with Toodles and Mario arguing and fighting while playing unfitting music.

Eventually, weeks later, Peach started to hate him because he never picked on her and fired him. He promised that it wasn't the last of him, though...


End file.
